Dear Anon. Sophomore,

So, you are deciding your fate for your junior year of high school.  Well let me tell you, there may be a couple of difficult choices that you'll have to make, but the choice for English is easy.  If you like puppy dogs and chocolate, then AP English is the place for you!

That was a joke.  I used verbal irony to juxtapose what really happens in AP English with what never happens in any high school class ever.  Oh, I'm sorry, have I lost you? Well, if you would like to keep up with my complex analytical sentences, then I suppose you have no option but to take AP English next year.  You see, remember that packet of terms you received from your teacher at the beginning of the year, but only used sparingly as a set of guidelines of sorts?  Well, get ready to commit them to memory, because for two straight years you will have those babies burned into your brain on a daily basis.  Otherwise, check out the picture on Jillian's blog.  You will feel the wrath of that woman.  And remember your friends? Yeah, those other humans you spend time with? Forget about them. They might as well live on another continent, because you won't be seeing them very often.  Unless they take AP English with you.  Then you will be best friends.

But honestly, AP English is really difficult.  No joking anymore.  I'm going to use my concrete diction and matter-of-fact tone.  It is a challenge, but in hindsight it really is a challenge worth taking.  Believe me, I have actually cursed the class - at points in time very recent leading up to this post.  But there are invaluable benefits to it all.  You will learn to ACTUALLY write.  Think you're pretty good now? You aren't. Trust me. But you can be, and you will be.  You just have to make the effort.  And you WILL make good friends in class.  Well, you're forced to, because you have writing partners, and if you don't like each other than you will have a really awkward time.  But me and my writing partners, we're all tight.  We formed a gang and cause mayhem on the weekends. Sorry, that was a joke that I let slip.  Nonetheless, AP English is worth the sacrifices.  It takes you to a whole other level, but its a level that you are better off reaching for now than in college.  But the choice is yours.  Make the right one for you.  Because Everything ends, and Everything Matters.

Love, Chris (AKA High Stile)

PS, if you get really popular, you even get a cool street name like me